Thankful and all of those fuzzy thoughts...

Ok Readers! This is the time to say than you. Feel thanks and give more! I agree that we should feel this way everyday but November is a nice reminder for us. What will you do to encourage, love, share, give and care? My goal was not to rhyme but it was to make you think. How can we make our selves better people by thinking of others a bit more? That sounds a little selfish doesn't it? Isn't it funny that when we give to those around us we truly give to ourselves? I give myself secret giving challenges and it is always ironic how I feel when I am not acknowledged for my kindness. Although it is great to be recognized for giving-isnt it better when we are not? It is better for our own hearts when a kind gesture is not rewarded because it challenges the true motive for being thoughtful. Do I give for others to say how sweet I am-or do I give because I should. Because it is needed. Because it is my belief that giving is better than receiving? Feel free to share your thoughts on my morning ramblings. Keep in mind we are headed into the season when everyone is expecting gifts and even kids are writing lists about what they would like to appear under their own proverbial and literal trees…how can we teach them to savor and cherish the message of the giving tree and appreciate sharing a bit more than thinking about what they would like to get. I have a lot to teach this little guy about giving back and he reminds me everyday why I should give without expectation. -Read something great

October Blessings

I told many of you about my book signing weekend with the Big Brains Book fair at Barnes & Noble (Shelby Twp & Troy). It was an amazing experience to connect directly with readers and talk to them about my writing process, anti-bullying and my love for what I do. So many customers shared their own personal stories and talked to me about their goals, their experience with bullying and their own interest in my writing. Did you know that I will be back at Barnes in Noble in Troy on November 16th? Be sure to save the date-I would love to sign out one of my books for you! This week I was consumed with designing and presenting programs for local teachers, case workers, parents and many people in the mental health field. I connected with a nice bunch on Tuesday and will be able to meet with a different group tomorrow. It makes me feel good that people care about kindness and that they are willing to learn what they can do to make a difference. -Read something great

Let's catch up!

Readers!
Please forgive my absence. It has been an eventful Summer. As many of you know I have been working on more books and lots of educational activities related to anti-bullying. This past season has been rewarding both professionally and personally because I was able to welcome a new family member into my life. My son was born in early September and he has been a complete joy to me. The more I connect with him the more I feel connected with the purpose of self-esteem, literacy and diversity education. My son is not even two months but I have already encountered adults saying that he will be teased when he gets to school because of his name. This made me think about how we should all be more careful with our words. If an adult is predicting that a baby's name is justifiably "teaseable"   does that set an example for kids to do it with vigor because his name is not a common one? In some ways do we set the stage for our young people to bully and be bullied? I have talked to so many kids and parents that have said they were teased around adults and that the solution was to grow thicker skin or to brush it off. I was just thinking at what point do we hold not only the perpetrator of bullying accountable for their actions but also those who witness it or justify it? I am excited because this weekend not only do I get to sign books at the Shelby Township Barnes & Noble (Sat. 4-6) and the Troy location (Sun. 4-6) but I also get to discuss anti-bullying and get others engaged in the topic.
-Read something great

Cheers to Cheerios and harsh reality for many of us...

Many of you know that my books focus on self-esteem, diversity and anti-bullying. My interest in the topic is both professional and personal. When Jason and I began dating we were both shocked at the reaction that we received from many of the people that we thought we knew well. People said comments to us such as "what will you do with your kids?" How will you raise them?" etc. We knew that something needed to be done. We knew that if we stayed together and had kids that they might hear these questions as well. We chose to make the family business about educating our communities on the power of words, cultural competence and why bullying is a bad idea. In 2008 our first adventure started publicizing our work and mission. We have been able to talk to many amazing schools, individuals and organizations. We feel as though we are making a difference. We also know that we have a long road ahead of us. Jason and I were watching television recently and we saw the most adorable girl on our screen asking her mom about heart health. We laughed as we saw the punchline of the commercial. We noticed that the family was interracial but we did not talk about that as much as we thought it was a cute and creative ad to show the mind of a child helping her father. Imagine my shock when I saw the firestorm of remarks documented on youtube in reaction to this sweet and lovable commercial. I am pregnant with my first child and I realize that my biggest challenge will begin soon. I have worked hard to educate a community and now I will have to work harder to educate my child and teach him what I have been sharing with classrooms and boardrooms as I am in the process of decorating his bedroom. Cheers to Cheerios for featuring this family and for coming up with creative and fun content. My first book "Who I Am Not What I Am" (http://www.amazon.com/Who-Am-Not-What/dp/1434371522/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1370292641&sr=8-1&keywords=who+i+am+not+what+i+am ) features Janelle, a young girl who goes to school for the first time and is asked "what are you" by classmates. In the end Janelle understands that everybody does not get that she is more than what people see on the surface but an amazing person, a creative kid and a girl who loves to talk. This incident has received national attention for the words that others decided to write refuting the ad. I thought I'd share my own words celebrating the ad for the opportunity to reflect on the change that still needs to happen. -Read something great

Mommies, Memories and Meaning

We are approaching the special day in which Mommies are honored for their care, concern and commitment to their kids and families. My mother has been a constant in my life. Some of my favorite memories are of her teaching me the little things that girls should know and the big things that change our outlook on life. She has not had a easy life and she has overcome a lot. I am thrilled because this Saturday we are going to celebrate together for the first time as mothers as opposed to just mother and daughter. Since I have been expecting she has imparted lots of wisdom with me in regards to pregnancy, childcare and life as a working mommy. I want to reach out to all of you reading this because if it was not for you I would not have the best job in the world. You have bought my books for your children, made sure that your young one's attended my seminars and conferences and you have encouraged my growth. I hope that this weekend you make some great new memories as you recall the old ones. -Read something great

Who I Am Not What I Am: becoming my own reality

My husband Jason Michener and I were honored to give a joint speech at the Princeton Prize in Race Relations Event in Metro Detroit on Sunday. We talked about our relationship and how our personal story leads to our professional message of anti-bullying, diversity and self-esteem. Maybe you have read my books and you realize that they range from picture books to young adult and that they focus on positive messages about embracing culture and inclusion. Maybe you have heard a few of our personal stories about our days of dating when I was in my undergrad program in college. If you have done neither-I will remind you. Jason and I became great friends when he moved to Michigan from New Jersey in 2003. He was fun, smart and had the best heart I had ever seen on a human. I fell in love and yeah-he did too. When we decided to date-we were elated. I felt as though I had been blessed with my soulmate. The only man in my life who not only loved my snort-like laugh but also worked very hard to make sure I was always laughing so that he could hear it. Our happiness was not mutual with everyone around us. I was shocked because we received an amazing amount of speculation, judgement and raised eyebrows from those we cared about and even from strangers. Why are you two dating? What will you do with your children? Your relationship is not fair to the future of your family. Yes we heard it all. We were shocked...confused and hurt. My response what are you talking about kids? We are just dating. On the other hand if this relationship goes farther than dating and we get married and have kids-we will raise them! Once we continued our union into marriage and beyond-I began my true writing career. I have been able to travel all over the United States and share my books and story with many people who needed to hear it. Now I get to share my story with the most important person that will need to hear it and understand others need to box him in. My future son. I am pregnant (5 months) with my beautiful baby boy. He is already spirited according to the ultrasound because he can't stop dancing and performing flips in my belly. I want him to keep his jovial energy and not be tainted by those who feel like his life needs to be downtrodden before he gets here. I want him to know that he is more than a color or two. He is his personality. His interests. His smile. He is our child and he is not a "what" he is a "who". -Read something great

UN Learn. UN hurt. UnBully

This Saturday I am able to facilitate an amazing seminar dedicated to a new term that I coined... "UNbully". If we can take some time to look at mistakes that we have made, words that we have used in error or haste and actions that we wish that we could take back-we might be looking at a different future. I want to attempt to make that happen. This Saturday's seminar is dedicated to anyone from pre-k to workplace in regards to bullying. It takes a community to change our future so the community is invited. Strategies, tools and techniques to change the scope of relational, indirect and social aggression will be discussed. We hope that you can join us. You can register on the right side of this page. This is a must attend for anyone who has ever witnessed bullying in their environment. Our goal is to inspire, educate and motivate our participants in regards to this relevant issue. $25 per person includes refreshments and materials. Michener Associates - Counseling Center 850 W. University, Rochester, Michigan 48307 More info: 734-968-4458 or email info@taramichener.com -Read something great!