Summer Reading Round Up!

Have you compiled your list of books yet? Summer is beginning this month and hopefully your love of reading will be reinvigorated! This is a great time to browse your library, bookstore and favorite review sites for your upcoming book adventures. As an author I am busy writing my own adventures-but also getting prepared to read my favorite authors to myself and to my toddler. How often will you decide to read? Will you set the proper environment for your favorite books? Make it special. Read in the park, on the beach by the pool, in bed, the possibilities are endless-just make sure that you do it. Many of your local libraries have contest-see if you can join. You might just get rewarded for it. -Read something great

Spring Cleaning... off your bookshelf

Readers! Spring is here! If you are anything like me-you have a ton of books on your shelves. How often do you get to dive into them? I strongly suggest that you get ready for summer reading and summer giving early. You might be wondering how...I'll tell you. Grab 2 boxes or bins. Mark one: "Donations" and mark the other one "To Read List". Take a look at items that you have read a ton of times that no longer belong on your shelf and make plans to donate to a library, a school or a community group. The other one is your start to getting your summer reading goals met. Spring cleaning can be fun. -Read something great

With a couple of words...

Hi Readers,
Have you ever thought about the power of language? When we decide to greet someone and ask them about their day-we can make them feel special and cared for. When we say mean, careless comments we can make them feel as if they don't matter. When I was young someone told me that words do not have the power to hurt-they are just words. I don't agree.
When the civil rights workers fought for freedom and had racial slurs painted on their homes-those words hurt. When it is some one's birthday and they get a card that tells them they are great-those words help. My goal is to help spread the word (no pun intended) about self-esteem, diversity and literacy. I do this through my books, events and projects. So before you speak-try this exercise first. Ask yourself is this helpful or hurtful? If it could go either way refrain from saying it. Let's build up this world with our words.
-Read something great.

In an effort to end bullying...

If you are free this Friday-I'd like to welcome you to join us at our Professionals Against Bullying Roundtable hosted by the Friendship Circle. We will have a presentation, dialogue session and time to network and talk to others about this issue that effects our communities. We are meeting at 6 p.m. and it will run until 8 p.m. All ages are welcome to join us.
If you can't make this please try and come to Much Ado About Bullying: Signs, Symptoms and Solutions on Sunday May 15 from 1-6 p.m. at the Holocaust Memorial Center in Farmington Hills. I will be one of the speakers and will be joined by Dr. Elizabeth Barton and Glenn Stutzky. Bullying is not just teasing and joking it is an act that is being amplified by our global media capabilities and hurting the quality of life and self-esteem of people of all ages. We have some great ideas and events on the horizon that I promise to keep you up to date on.
-Read something great!

Breaking the Pattern of Bullying

Have you ever wondered what creates a bully? As a victim of countless bullies I sure have. Think about it for a second. Okay now that you have pondered the cause-what did you come up with? I have seen studies that link the act of bullying with low self-esteem, inner sadness or a difficult home life. I'm sure that many theories exist for the cause of bully-like behavior. Let's move on to solutions. How can we stop the act of bullying? Can we break the pattern?
I think it is possible. A technique that may be helpful is to confront the behavior as soon as it starts. I'm not saying that we should attack-but we should ask good questions. If we ask a child why they picked on someone instead of allowing it to be a right of passage we might make some incredible headway. Have you ever wondered what is going on in the head of someone who is intentionally cruel to others? How about we ask the child to write down exactly what they are thinking when they exhibit these behaviors. When I was a kid I was told that kids will outgrow bullying behaviors. Do you think bullying is something that is outgrown?
If you do take a look at this...
There are several different types of adult bullies, and it helps to know how they operate:

Narcissistic Bully: This type of adult bully is self-centered and does not share empathy with others. Additionally, there is little anxiety about consequences. He or she seems to feel good about him or her self, but in reality has a brittle narcissism that requires putting others down.
Impulsive Bully: Adult bullies in this category are more spontaneous and plan their bullying out less. Even if consequences are likely, this bully has a hard time restraining his or her behavior. In some cases, this type of bullying may be unintentional, resulting in periods of stress, or when the bully is actually upset or concerned about something unconnected with the victim.
Physical Bully: While adult bullying rarely turns to physical confrontation, there are, nonetheless, bullies that use physicality. In some cases, the bully may not actually physically harm the victim, but may use the threat of harm, or physical domination through looming. Additionally, a physical bully may damage or steal a victim’s property, rather than physically confronting the victim.
Verbal Bully: Words can be quite damaging. Adult bullies who use this type of tactic may start rumors about the victim, or use sarcastic or demeaning language to dominate or humiliate another person. This subtle type of bullying also has the advantage - to the bully - of being difficult to document. However, the emotional and psychological impacts of verbal bullying can be felt quite keenly and can result in reduced job performance and even depression.
Secondary Bully: This is someone who does not initiate the bullying, but joins in so that he or she does not actually become a victim down the road. Secondary bullies may feel bad about what they are doing, but are more concerned about protecting themselves.
Adult bullies were often either bullies as children, or bullied as children. Understanding this about them may be able to help you cope with the behavior. But there is little you can do about it beyond doing your best to ignore the bully, report his or her behavior to the proper authorities, and document the instances of bullying so that you can take legal action down the road if necessary. (info on adult bullying provided by www.bullyingstatistics.org)
It is important that we address this problem early so that those who are aggressors and victims can get the help they need. Do you have an opinion on the matter? Have you ever been bullied as a child or adult? I'd love to hear your comments.
-Read something great