Showing posts with label bullies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bullies. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
PREVENTION AND PRE-SCHOOL
Today marks the 1st day of National bullying prevention month. I am often asked at what age should we talk to our kids about bullying and related behaviors. I am pleased to share that many pre-schools and early learning centers have asked me to read my books to their students and talk to parents about pro-social education. It is never too early to teach our kids to be kind. To share with them the importance of caring about others and to try to use practical examples to allow them to work on compassion development.
As many of you know I have my own little tot and we are already working on feelings identification exercises. Bookstores and resource stores like Self-esteem shop carry many tools to begin this process. If we can teach young people early how to recognize emotions it is a great step in the process of pro-social learning. Does your center need assistance? Can your family benefit from a personal consultation on emotional understanding and prevention? Please let me know.
This Friday I will be at Kindercare centers reading my picture book series to students and beginning the process of pro-social education. If you need an Unbully kit we send great resources through the mail that includes information, tools and resources that aid in prevention.
-Read something great
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
With a couple of words...
Hi Readers,
Have you ever thought about the power of language? When we decide to greet someone and ask them about their day-we can make them feel special and cared for. When we say mean, careless comments we can make them feel as if they don't matter. When I was young someone told me that words do not have the power to hurt-they are just words. I don't agree.
When the civil rights workers fought for freedom and had racial slurs painted on their homes-those words hurt. When it is some one's birthday and they get a card that tells them they are great-those words help. My goal is to help spread the word (no pun intended) about self-esteem, diversity and literacy. I do this through my books, events and projects. So before you speak-try this exercise first. Ask yourself is this helpful or hurtful? If it could go either way refrain from saying it. Let's build up this world with our words.
-Read something great.
Have you ever thought about the power of language? When we decide to greet someone and ask them about their day-we can make them feel special and cared for. When we say mean, careless comments we can make them feel as if they don't matter. When I was young someone told me that words do not have the power to hurt-they are just words. I don't agree.
When the civil rights workers fought for freedom and had racial slurs painted on their homes-those words hurt. When it is some one's birthday and they get a card that tells them they are great-those words help. My goal is to help spread the word (no pun intended) about self-esteem, diversity and literacy. I do this through my books, events and projects. So before you speak-try this exercise first. Ask yourself is this helpful or hurtful? If it could go either way refrain from saying it. Let's build up this world with our words.
-Read something great.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
In an effort to end bullying...
If you are free this Friday-I'd like to welcome you to join us at our Professionals Against Bullying Roundtable hosted by the Friendship Circle. We will have a presentation, dialogue session and time to network and talk to others about this issue that effects our communities. We are meeting at 6 p.m. and it will run until 8 p.m. All ages are welcome to join us.
If you can't make this please try and come to Much Ado About Bullying: Signs, Symptoms and Solutions on Sunday May 15 from 1-6 p.m. at the Holocaust Memorial Center in Farmington Hills. I will be one of the speakers and will be joined by Dr. Elizabeth Barton and Glenn Stutzky. Bullying is not just teasing and joking it is an act that is being amplified by our global media capabilities and hurting the quality of life and self-esteem of people of all ages. We have some great ideas and events on the horizon that I promise to keep you up to date on.
-Read something great!
If you can't make this please try and come to Much Ado About Bullying: Signs, Symptoms and Solutions on Sunday May 15 from 1-6 p.m. at the Holocaust Memorial Center in Farmington Hills. I will be one of the speakers and will be joined by Dr. Elizabeth Barton and Glenn Stutzky. Bullying is not just teasing and joking it is an act that is being amplified by our global media capabilities and hurting the quality of life and self-esteem of people of all ages. We have some great ideas and events on the horizon that I promise to keep you up to date on.
-Read something great!
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Guest Blog By Chelsea Rodgers #Breakingthepattern
Educators: Mentors or Bullies?
We have been discussing over the last month about students being bullied or the one who does the bullying. Recently, I have had an encounter with a professor and it was not a good one. I was insulted and bullied through e-mail. She tore me down and accused me of things that were not true and she passed this along to other professor that I admire and look up to and this really got to me. I have been working so hard and in a matter of one e-mail she made me look incompetent. That being said after all the professors saw her e-mail, this event I was throwing was canceled. I had a complete melt down. This came out of no-where and I could not figure out what to say to her. I also could not believe that she was such a mean bully. At that moment I felt defeated. Once I got it together and got some advice from an amazing mentor, this incident reminded me of something that happened to my brother as a child and it made me wonder; are the kids really the ones to blame for being bullies or are they acting out what they see in the classroom?
Teachers are supposed to be an important figure in a child’s life. Besides the children’s own parents teachers see their students for six hours or more a day. Teachers are to be mentors not bullies. They are supposed to help children find their skill and to develop it, not tear it down. Teachers are supposed to pick a child up if they fall down. Teachers are supposed to stop bullying if they see it happening. Are they the real bullies and is this why teachers have not put a stop to bullying in the past? Many admit to seeing the bullying occur in the hallways but do nothing to stop it, is this because they started it? What happens when that trusted mentor turns out to be the bully; the instigator. Children act out what they see and hear every day.
When my brother was in third grade he had a teacher who was a bully to him. She was so bad that she got the whole class to pick on him. I remember him coming home one day crying because during story time he raised his hand to ask a question about the story and when he asked the teacher in front of the class called him stupid. He said after that the kids started laughing and called him stupid all day long. He even said on recess one of the kids pushed him outside and not one teacher stopped this boy from harassing my brother. Every day my brother dreaded going to school knowing what was to come. He said it did not matter if he did anything because she found something to yell at him about everyday and that it was always in front of the class. This teacher was such a bully that she even began talking to other teachers about my brother saying that he was uncontrollable. My brother is smart and he would get done with the work before all the other kids so he would get restless and this teacher never gave him anything more to do. She would wait for him to do something so she could pick on him in front of the class.
It got so bad at one point of the year that my mom and dad went in to a meeting with her. The principal, and this counselor and they told my parents that my brother had ADD and needed to be medicated. My mom said no but just to make sure she took him to the doctor. The doctor examined my brother and told my mom he did not need medication. He said he is sitting in this room calmly and listening to us, he is fine. This was a relief to my mother but this also showed her that these adult figures were not going to challenge my brother’s creative mind. They were going to keep on bullying him. It was shortly after this doctor visit that my parents decided to move my brother up a grade because this teacher was still singling him out. This was the best decision made for my brother. He still got teased shortly after moving up a grade but he soon made a good friend that he still has in his life today.
In the end, where is bullying stemming from, the students or the mentors in our school system. Are we paying these professors/teachers to be bullies? The answer is no, we are paying to be educated and to be taken care of. Parents drop their kids off everyday thinking they are in good hands and the truth may be that they are placing them right into the hand of the bully. We need to start holding teachers accountable for not stopping bullying when it occurs. Being a bystander is just as bad if not worse. Teachers need to lead by example and to be mentors and teach children respect.
We have been discussing over the last month about students being bullied or the one who does the bullying. Recently, I have had an encounter with a professor and it was not a good one. I was insulted and bullied through e-mail. She tore me down and accused me of things that were not true and she passed this along to other professor that I admire and look up to and this really got to me. I have been working so hard and in a matter of one e-mail she made me look incompetent. That being said after all the professors saw her e-mail, this event I was throwing was canceled. I had a complete melt down. This came out of no-where and I could not figure out what to say to her. I also could not believe that she was such a mean bully. At that moment I felt defeated. Once I got it together and got some advice from an amazing mentor, this incident reminded me of something that happened to my brother as a child and it made me wonder; are the kids really the ones to blame for being bullies or are they acting out what they see in the classroom?
Teachers are supposed to be an important figure in a child’s life. Besides the children’s own parents teachers see their students for six hours or more a day. Teachers are to be mentors not bullies. They are supposed to help children find their skill and to develop it, not tear it down. Teachers are supposed to pick a child up if they fall down. Teachers are supposed to stop bullying if they see it happening. Are they the real bullies and is this why teachers have not put a stop to bullying in the past? Many admit to seeing the bullying occur in the hallways but do nothing to stop it, is this because they started it? What happens when that trusted mentor turns out to be the bully; the instigator. Children act out what they see and hear every day.
When my brother was in third grade he had a teacher who was a bully to him. She was so bad that she got the whole class to pick on him. I remember him coming home one day crying because during story time he raised his hand to ask a question about the story and when he asked the teacher in front of the class called him stupid. He said after that the kids started laughing and called him stupid all day long. He even said on recess one of the kids pushed him outside and not one teacher stopped this boy from harassing my brother. Every day my brother dreaded going to school knowing what was to come. He said it did not matter if he did anything because she found something to yell at him about everyday and that it was always in front of the class. This teacher was such a bully that she even began talking to other teachers about my brother saying that he was uncontrollable. My brother is smart and he would get done with the work before all the other kids so he would get restless and this teacher never gave him anything more to do. She would wait for him to do something so she could pick on him in front of the class.
It got so bad at one point of the year that my mom and dad went in to a meeting with her. The principal, and this counselor and they told my parents that my brother had ADD and needed to be medicated. My mom said no but just to make sure she took him to the doctor. The doctor examined my brother and told my mom he did not need medication. He said he is sitting in this room calmly and listening to us, he is fine. This was a relief to my mother but this also showed her that these adult figures were not going to challenge my brother’s creative mind. They were going to keep on bullying him. It was shortly after this doctor visit that my parents decided to move my brother up a grade because this teacher was still singling him out. This was the best decision made for my brother. He still got teased shortly after moving up a grade but he soon made a good friend that he still has in his life today.
In the end, where is bullying stemming from, the students or the mentors in our school system. Are we paying these professors/teachers to be bullies? The answer is no, we are paying to be educated and to be taken care of. Parents drop their kids off everyday thinking they are in good hands and the truth may be that they are placing them right into the hand of the bully. We need to start holding teachers accountable for not stopping bullying when it occurs. Being a bystander is just as bad if not worse. Teachers need to lead by example and to be mentors and teach children respect.
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