Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. Joseph Addison

I don't know about you but when I have something great to read...I feel smarter, happier, more confident and fulfilled. It can be hard being a writer myself and running a business to take the time to make reading for pleasure a priority. As a mom of a toddler I am very adept at making sure my little guy sees and understands the value of books. We have even began telling each other stories off the top of our heads. His stories usually consist of: Once a time Mommy and Daddy and ice cream the end. I know I know...but he is two! We are working on it. I am fascinated when he grabs a book and appears to read it. Keep in mind he has memorized most of his favorites. So if you are looking for an in-depth conversation on "How to give a mouse a cookie" or "Goodnight Moon" he is your orator. This week I got to meet up with some great readers and writers at an event focused on literacy. Bookstock Michigan will take place on May 15th-May 22nd at Laurel Park Place Mall in Livonia. Opening day will be a great day to bring the whole family. For a $20 donation you can even get first pick of all of the stock! This special admission allows you to get in as early as 8:15 a.m. and the pre-sale runs through 11:00 a.m. I am more than thrilled to take my kid and hubistrator because we will have first choice of over 100,000 books, dvds, cd's, etc. So if the quote above is true my mind is getting prepped for a great workout! I hope that you can join me! Here is the website for those who want to research more intently: bookstockmi.org Read something great!

What do writers do when they are not writing...

Hi Readers! I am working on a new manuscript and I am excited to finish it so that you can all read it I was asked a great question by a young lady today. She asked me "What do writers do when they aren't writing?" I felt like it was most appropriate to answer it publicly. I write often. It is my core job and also a very big passion. I love that being a writer allows me to sign books at stores, libraries and programs. When I am not writing...here are a few things that I am doing. 1.) I have a counseling practice and I listen and help people who want to make a change in their lives. 2.) I go to schools and other locations and read my books and give talks. 3.) I contribute to magazines, radio stations, etc. and answer questions about self-esteem, diversity and anti-bullying. I could add a lot more but as you can see my schedule gets pretty full. I will add a 4th past-time...I give back. I am involved in many charitable programs and organizations and I lend support, expertise, money and time to help people who need it. Our time is valuable so think about what you can do while you might have some time off in the summer or on one of your upcoming breaks. Can you give back? Take on a new hobby? You might even decide to start writing. -read something great

Spring Cleaning... off your bookshelf

Readers! Spring is here! If you are anything like me-you have a ton of books on your shelves. How often do you get to dive into them? I strongly suggest that you get ready for summer reading and summer giving early. You might be wondering how...I'll tell you. Grab 2 boxes or bins. Mark one: "Donations" and mark the other one "To Read List". Take a look at items that you have read a ton of times that no longer belong on your shelf and make plans to donate to a library, a school or a community group. The other one is your start to getting your summer reading goals met. Spring cleaning can be fun. -Read something great

Reading Resolutions

Everyone is making goals and checking them twice. Welcome to January! Fresh ideas, new perspective and a clean slate is on the horizon. As an author and an avid reader my goals tend to lean towards literary objectives. Do you have any goals that focus on literacy? Here are a few of mine: Have at least four library visits each month, read and complete one fiction book and one business oriented book monthly, read through my son's personal library collection in entirety every week (this goal is shared between my hubistrator, sitters and myself because he has a lot of books), write in a gratitude journal daily, work on incomplete manuscripts. Those are my reading resolutions-what are your goals when it comes to literacy? Read to a classroom, volunteer at your library, work on a project related to helping others with their literacy goals. The list can be quite endless. Readers are leaders-let's begin this year by leading by example. Read something great.

PREVENTION AND PRE-SCHOOL

Today marks the 1st day of National bullying prevention month. I am often asked at what age should we talk to our kids about bullying and related behaviors. I am pleased to share that many pre-schools and early learning centers have asked me to read my books to their students and talk to parents about pro-social education. It is never too early to teach our kids to be kind. To share with them the importance of caring about others and to try to use practical examples to allow them to work on compassion development. As many of you know I have my own little tot and we are already working on feelings identification exercises. Bookstores and resource stores like Self-esteem shop carry many tools to begin this process. If we can teach young people early how to recognize emotions it is a great step in the process of pro-social learning. Does your center need assistance? Can your family benefit from a personal consultation on emotional understanding and prevention? Please let me know. This Friday I will be at Kindercare centers reading my picture book series to students and beginning the process of pro-social education. If you need an Unbully kit we send great resources through the mail that includes information, tools and resources that aid in prevention. -Read something great

March Is Reading Month!

If you read this blog often-you know my mantra is read something great. This month you don't have a choice. It is reading month. Please get involved by taking your literacy to the next level. Make a goal to skip a tv show and watch a book in that same time slot or volunteer at a local library and read to kids. Let's get excited about books! This month if you buy any of my books from my website-you are eligible for a special surprise with each purchase. Let's make this month magnificent! -Read something great

My Elite Blessing

This month I have been blessed to be able to be honored with 39 amazing professionals who are making a difference in Michigan. I have been named one of the L. Brooks Patterson Elite 40 under 40 in Oakland County. To be included in such a great group of doers is a true honor. This recognition is not only a gift to me but you, my community. Without your loyalty to the cause of anti-bullying, literacy and self-esteem I would not be able to do what I love. So I am saying thank you to you-because you make me a better me! -Read something great!

January Dreams!

How has this year been for you so far? Are you watching your goal list closely? For me it has somewhat of a whirlwind. A few of my favorite moments from this year are worth sharing. Last year I won an award called "Keeper of The Dream" this award salutes people who exhibit principles, character and contributions that follow in the footsteps of Dr. King's vision. This year I was able to be a guest and meet the new winners of the award. They all had amazing accomplishments, stories and hope for the future. I also was able to meet a business person that calls me higher and inspires me to grow and continue to reach for the best.

Daymond Jon, Sharktank Star, author and entrepreneur gave an incredible speech to remind us of the dream keepers that we see everyday and to celebrate each step and contribution respectfully. The other amazing opportunity that I had this year was to present for a group of parents of preschoolers on the importance of prosocial development. It seems small to always remind a child to say please and thank you but this is the seeds we plant when we want to create the next dream keeper. Have any of your January dreams come true? Are you still working on them? The month is not over yet. -Read something great

Creating a spark...

Have you ever wondered how major things happen?
Big things like the Civil rights movement-or ending apartheid?
I can tell you.
It isn't by starting a Huge movement...
it is by igniting small sparks with focused thinking followed by action.
My career path began by jotting down a few notes in a journal-I coupled those thoughts with musings from my heart about self-esteem, anti-bullying and diversity.
My love of literacy intertwined with my love of people and my desire to see people cease judgement of one another and embrace strengths of common strangers.
This is what started my current career.

What will it take to start something big for you?
Thoughts?
journaling?
A deep conversation?
hurt?

Allow every encounter to be the bread crumb that builds tomorrows bridge to your destiny.

It's a new year and we have to begin to allow new ideas to pave the way to new adventures!

-Read something great!

HIGHLIGHTS, THANK YOU'S AND BIG DREAMS FOR '11

I love to reflect before the new year rolls in and reflect upon milestones that I have experienced.

Highlights include building amazing bridges with various community organizations, planning and leading diversity walks, a 5K and being a coach for Girls on The Run. We were able to make so many kids smile by offering various workshops and outreach programs for young people in Michigan and on the East Coast. We celebrated literacy by launching "Summer Camp Survival" our first chapter book this year! We fought hard to get people to recognize the damage and impact that bullying and destructive behaviors adds not only to the intended victim (s) but the whole community. This year we were recognized by CORP Magazine for our work in Diversity and for the "Who I Am" series. We shared the message of my books at Princeton University and had an amazing speaking engagement at their National Symposium on Race. We celebrated our mission by allowing others to join us as we participated in laptops drives, beautification projects and conferences that celebrate the hope that is amongst us. I met some amazing people who nominated me and allowed me to receive A Yellow Envelope Award (A project based in Texas) which celebrated my work in our local community. If I leave anyone out I am sorry but a special thank you to: Jason Michener-My Hubistrator, Joni Hubred-Golden, Chelsea Rodgers My intern and Marketing Associate/Consultant, Social Media Club Detroit, Tweetea, Black Women in Business Brainstorm, CORP Magazine, PBS: A Wider World, Operation: Kid-Equip, Lighthouse PATH, Salvation Army, Princeton Prize in Race Relations, Detroit Soup, Michigan Diversity Council, Michigan Roundtable for Diversity and Inclusion, Detroit Church of Christ, Holocaust Museum, Celebrate Michigan, CW50, MYTV20, #BackChannel from WXYZ, Stephen Clark, Alicia Smith, Ann Arbor Book Festival, Workantile, Flourish Florals, Mia Verde, Trinity Life Solutions, Girls on The Run, Biggby Coffee, Bonefish Grill, Borders, Detroit Regional Chamber, Detroit Synergy and so many more that are in my heart even if not in my head at this point. Let's make 2011 amazing! I am so excited to step into new territory, take on new ventures and create content that allows us to grow, be entertained and to make a difference! Thanks for reading and for being a part of WHOIAM! -Read something great!

Identifying Conflict starters...

Readers, as we take the issue of bullying seriously we must be realistic. Many of us know bullies. They may be in our classrooms, work places or even our homes. The best thing that we can do is to educate young people on how to deal with conflict and anger to prevent them from being bullies. When kids feel equipped to deal with the hard stuff they can navigate problems in a respectful way and become solution-oriented.
Here are some common conflicts that young people face:

1.) Being teased
2.) Being caught in the rumor mill
3.) being called names
4.) being accused
5.) being treated unfairly
6.) Being excluded
7.) being picked on for being different
8.) Being cheated
9.) Being threatened
10.) Mean notes/texts or cyber bullying

It is obvious that many conflicts can lead to bullying but if we can prep young people on how to identify these situations and have a planned response they may be more equipped to deal with them in a positive way. Do you have any ideas on how to deal with bullying? Have you ever helped a bully to reform? What can you share with the readers of this blog to help them continue to build an atmosphere of self-esteem? Your ideas are appreciated. If we all ban together we can eradicate this behavior and move towards a more peaceful future for our kids and adults. If you are free on Friday October 22nd we are having a Anti-bullying Townhall to disucss solutions and strategies to overcome this growing problem. We will be meeting at 118 S. Main Street, Ann Arbor, 48104 from 5:30-7:30 p.m.
-Read Something Great!

Breaking the Pattern of Bullying

Have you ever wondered what creates a bully? As a victim of countless bullies I sure have. Think about it for a second. Okay now that you have pondered the cause-what did you come up with? I have seen studies that link the act of bullying with low self-esteem, inner sadness or a difficult home life. I'm sure that many theories exist for the cause of bully-like behavior. Let's move on to solutions. How can we stop the act of bullying? Can we break the pattern?
I think it is possible. A technique that may be helpful is to confront the behavior as soon as it starts. I'm not saying that we should attack-but we should ask good questions. If we ask a child why they picked on someone instead of allowing it to be a right of passage we might make some incredible headway. Have you ever wondered what is going on in the head of someone who is intentionally cruel to others? How about we ask the child to write down exactly what they are thinking when they exhibit these behaviors. When I was a kid I was told that kids will outgrow bullying behaviors. Do you think bullying is something that is outgrown?
If you do take a look at this...
There are several different types of adult bullies, and it helps to know how they operate:

Narcissistic Bully: This type of adult bully is self-centered and does not share empathy with others. Additionally, there is little anxiety about consequences. He or she seems to feel good about him or her self, but in reality has a brittle narcissism that requires putting others down.
Impulsive Bully: Adult bullies in this category are more spontaneous and plan their bullying out less. Even if consequences are likely, this bully has a hard time restraining his or her behavior. In some cases, this type of bullying may be unintentional, resulting in periods of stress, or when the bully is actually upset or concerned about something unconnected with the victim.
Physical Bully: While adult bullying rarely turns to physical confrontation, there are, nonetheless, bullies that use physicality. In some cases, the bully may not actually physically harm the victim, but may use the threat of harm, or physical domination through looming. Additionally, a physical bully may damage or steal a victim’s property, rather than physically confronting the victim.
Verbal Bully: Words can be quite damaging. Adult bullies who use this type of tactic may start rumors about the victim, or use sarcastic or demeaning language to dominate or humiliate another person. This subtle type of bullying also has the advantage - to the bully - of being difficult to document. However, the emotional and psychological impacts of verbal bullying can be felt quite keenly and can result in reduced job performance and even depression.
Secondary Bully: This is someone who does not initiate the bullying, but joins in so that he or she does not actually become a victim down the road. Secondary bullies may feel bad about what they are doing, but are more concerned about protecting themselves.
Adult bullies were often either bullies as children, or bullied as children. Understanding this about them may be able to help you cope with the behavior. But there is little you can do about it beyond doing your best to ignore the bully, report his or her behavior to the proper authorities, and document the instances of bullying so that you can take legal action down the road if necessary. (info on adult bullying provided by www.bullyingstatistics.org)
It is important that we address this problem early so that those who are aggressors and victims can get the help they need. Do you have an opinion on the matter? Have you ever been bullied as a child or adult? I'd love to hear your comments.
-Read something great