Show and Tell!

This weekend the creative community in Michigan will embark on a fun event that brings together two important subjects... Art & Literacy. We will have many talented artists in the form of photographers, jewelry makers, clothing designers, and other creators display their work, talk about it and share it with you for purchase.
Our goal is to ignite the spirit of creativity that helps Michigan to grow and florish. Each of these artists were kind enough to donate funds to help us out with our goal is supplying local non-profits books for the Holiday spirit. Are you a creative spirit? Do you enjoy learning about the work that is put into a beautiful painting? Join us! You can also donate to our effort to support Lighthouse Path, Detroit Reality Check and Detroit Parent Network. The Be A Part of Their Story Literacy Project was my idea to give back to our youth and help them to embrace the joy of reading. My hubistrator and Creative Director, Jason inspires the young people with his illustrations and talks about the way that their doodles can become more than just a past time.
If you can join us we will be at 118 S. Main (Workantile) top floor from 2-6 on Sunday November 21st. If you would like to donate but you can't make it take a close look at this page and donate a book or two to a deserving child. Lighthouse was helpful to me and my family when I was a kid and allowed me to enhance my education and everyday life so that I could be who I am today.
You might just be helping the next children's book author fall in love with reading.
-Read something great

Guest Blog By Chelsea Rodgers #Breakingthepattern

Educators: Mentors or Bullies?
We have been discussing over the last month about students being bullied or the one who does the bullying. Recently, I have had an encounter with a professor and it was not a good one. I was insulted and bullied through e-mail. She tore me down and accused me of things that were not true and she passed this along to other professor that I admire and look up to and this really got to me. I have been working so hard and in a matter of one e-mail she made me look incompetent. That being said after all the professors saw her e-mail, this event I was throwing was canceled. I had a complete melt down. This came out of no-where and I could not figure out what to say to her. I also could not believe that she was such a mean bully. At that moment I felt defeated. Once I got it together and got some advice from an amazing mentor, this incident reminded me of something that happened to my brother as a child and it made me wonder; are the kids really the ones to blame for being bullies or are they acting out what they see in the classroom?

Teachers are supposed to be an important figure in a child’s life. Besides the children’s own parents teachers see their students for six hours or more a day. Teachers are to be mentors not bullies. They are supposed to help children find their skill and to develop it, not tear it down. Teachers are supposed to pick a child up if they fall down. Teachers are supposed to stop bullying if they see it happening. Are they the real bullies and is this why teachers have not put a stop to bullying in the past? Many admit to seeing the bullying occur in the hallways but do nothing to stop it, is this because they started it? What happens when that trusted mentor turns out to be the bully; the instigator. Children act out what they see and hear every day.

When my brother was in third grade he had a teacher who was a bully to him. She was so bad that she got the whole class to pick on him. I remember him coming home one day crying because during story time he raised his hand to ask a question about the story and when he asked the teacher in front of the class called him stupid. He said after that the kids started laughing and called him stupid all day long. He even said on recess one of the kids pushed him outside and not one teacher stopped this boy from harassing my brother. Every day my brother dreaded going to school knowing what was to come. He said it did not matter if he did anything because she found something to yell at him about everyday and that it was always in front of the class. This teacher was such a bully that she even began talking to other teachers about my brother saying that he was uncontrollable. My brother is smart and he would get done with the work before all the other kids so he would get restless and this teacher never gave him anything more to do. She would wait for him to do something so she could pick on him in front of the class.

It got so bad at one point of the year that my mom and dad went in to a meeting with her. The principal, and this counselor and they told my parents that my brother had ADD and needed to be medicated. My mom said no but just to make sure she took him to the doctor. The doctor examined my brother and told my mom he did not need medication. He said he is sitting in this room calmly and listening to us, he is fine. This was a relief to my mother but this also showed her that these adult figures were not going to challenge my brother’s creative mind. They were going to keep on bullying him. It was shortly after this doctor visit that my parents decided to move my brother up a grade because this teacher was still singling him out. This was the best decision made for my brother. He still got teased shortly after moving up a grade but he soon made a good friend that he still has in his life today.

In the end, where is bullying stemming from, the students or the mentors in our school system. Are we paying these professors/teachers to be bullies? The answer is no, we are paying to be educated and to be taken care of. Parents drop their kids off everyday thinking they are in good hands and the truth may be that they are placing them right into the hand of the bully. We need to start holding teachers accountable for not stopping bullying when it occurs. Being a bystander is just as bad if not worse. Teachers need to lead by example and to be mentors and teach children respect.

Who Gets Bullied?

Identifying Conflict starters...

Readers, as we take the issue of bullying seriously we must be realistic. Many of us know bullies. They may be in our classrooms, work places or even our homes. The best thing that we can do is to educate young people on how to deal with conflict and anger to prevent them from being bullies. When kids feel equipped to deal with the hard stuff they can navigate problems in a respectful way and become solution-oriented.
Here are some common conflicts that young people face:

1.) Being teased
2.) Being caught in the rumor mill
3.) being called names
4.) being accused
5.) being treated unfairly
6.) Being excluded
7.) being picked on for being different
8.) Being cheated
9.) Being threatened
10.) Mean notes/texts or cyber bullying

It is obvious that many conflicts can lead to bullying but if we can prep young people on how to identify these situations and have a planned response they may be more equipped to deal with them in a positive way. Do you have any ideas on how to deal with bullying? Have you ever helped a bully to reform? What can you share with the readers of this blog to help them continue to build an atmosphere of self-esteem? Your ideas are appreciated. If we all ban together we can eradicate this behavior and move towards a more peaceful future for our kids and adults. If you are free on Friday October 22nd we are having a Anti-bullying Townhall to disucss solutions and strategies to overcome this growing problem. We will be meeting at 118 S. Main Street, Ann Arbor, 48104 from 5:30-7:30 p.m.
-Read Something Great!

Careful with the labels...

One of the best parts of my job is that I get to meet so many diverse, creative and talented people. When I go to schools I see kids that have their own style. I love when young people feel comfortable enough to spell their names in a special way and express who they are. The books that I write support this type of thinking. Something incredible happens when we are able to let ourselves evolve into the art of expression. We are not meant to all look alike, act alike or talk in the same way. It is so important that we sincerely celebrate our differences.
How accepting are you of those who are different than you? Have you ever been labeled for being dressed a certain way or because of your personality? I have been labeled so much in my life that it is hard to count.
I created the Breaking The Pattern Anti-Bullying project this Fall. This project helps people to have healthy dialogue about their experiences with bullies and solutions to end this problem that is attacking not only our youth but our adults as well. We will be having many online forums including informal polls and up close and personal meet-ups where we discuss this topic thoroughly.
If we don't talk about it-we can't change it.
-Read something great

Guest Blog by Chelsea Rodgers-Chelsea & The Bee

There was only one subject that I always looked forward to as a kid and that was spelling. I was great at spelling. I may not have been the strongest writer but for whatever reason spelling just came natural to me. I think spelling came natural to me was because I was reading more and the more I read my vocabulary improved and it was easier for me to sound out the words and see if that word looked right on paper.
I came to school that day expecting the same boring routine when my teacher announced instead of a spelling test we would be doing a spelling bee. I was ecstatic. I never won anything and for once I had a feeling that I could go really far in this competition. One by one my classmates were eliminated and I stood strong yet to be defeated. Finally, it came down to me and one other person and he was good. I was starting to get nervous and was trembling standing in front of my class. I kept focused on my goal to win and to get an A in the spelling bee.
We had gone back and forth a couple rounds now when he finally misspelled a word. Now was my moment to shine, it was my turn to correct his mistake and become the spelling bee champion of my class. I took a deep breath and very carefully spelled the word. Afterwards there was a pause, the class was silent and the teacher stood emotionless. Then she said the words I had been waiting to hear. You are correct! I never felt that happy as I did in that moment, finally I felt like I fit in. It was the first time I ever won something. I got a star that read Spelling Bee Champion. I was very proud to wear that star. What subjects made you feel like a superstar? How did you feel when you discovered your success?

Breaking the Pattern of Bullying

Have you ever wondered what creates a bully? As a victim of countless bullies I sure have. Think about it for a second. Okay now that you have pondered the cause-what did you come up with? I have seen studies that link the act of bullying with low self-esteem, inner sadness or a difficult home life. I'm sure that many theories exist for the cause of bully-like behavior. Let's move on to solutions. How can we stop the act of bullying? Can we break the pattern?
I think it is possible. A technique that may be helpful is to confront the behavior as soon as it starts. I'm not saying that we should attack-but we should ask good questions. If we ask a child why they picked on someone instead of allowing it to be a right of passage we might make some incredible headway. Have you ever wondered what is going on in the head of someone who is intentionally cruel to others? How about we ask the child to write down exactly what they are thinking when they exhibit these behaviors. When I was a kid I was told that kids will outgrow bullying behaviors. Do you think bullying is something that is outgrown?
If you do take a look at this...
There are several different types of adult bullies, and it helps to know how they operate:

Narcissistic Bully: This type of adult bully is self-centered and does not share empathy with others. Additionally, there is little anxiety about consequences. He or she seems to feel good about him or her self, but in reality has a brittle narcissism that requires putting others down.
Impulsive Bully: Adult bullies in this category are more spontaneous and plan their bullying out less. Even if consequences are likely, this bully has a hard time restraining his or her behavior. In some cases, this type of bullying may be unintentional, resulting in periods of stress, or when the bully is actually upset or concerned about something unconnected with the victim.
Physical Bully: While adult bullying rarely turns to physical confrontation, there are, nonetheless, bullies that use physicality. In some cases, the bully may not actually physically harm the victim, but may use the threat of harm, or physical domination through looming. Additionally, a physical bully may damage or steal a victim’s property, rather than physically confronting the victim.
Verbal Bully: Words can be quite damaging. Adult bullies who use this type of tactic may start rumors about the victim, or use sarcastic or demeaning language to dominate or humiliate another person. This subtle type of bullying also has the advantage - to the bully - of being difficult to document. However, the emotional and psychological impacts of verbal bullying can be felt quite keenly and can result in reduced job performance and even depression.
Secondary Bully: This is someone who does not initiate the bullying, but joins in so that he or she does not actually become a victim down the road. Secondary bullies may feel bad about what they are doing, but are more concerned about protecting themselves.
Adult bullies were often either bullies as children, or bullied as children. Understanding this about them may be able to help you cope with the behavior. But there is little you can do about it beyond doing your best to ignore the bully, report his or her behavior to the proper authorities, and document the instances of bullying so that you can take legal action down the road if necessary. (info on adult bullying provided by www.bullyingstatistics.org)
It is important that we address this problem early so that those who are aggressors and victims can get the help they need. Do you have an opinion on the matter? Have you ever been bullied as a child or adult? I'd love to hear your comments.
-Read something great