New thoughts...New year

Are you eager to embrace your goals in 2013? Many people around you might be talking about their desires to get closer to fulfilling certain accomplishments. What about you? What will you plan on changing this year? How do you want to make 2013 better than 2012? Think about it. Close your eyes and picture yourself graduating from college, starting a new job or making that special dream come true. In 2008-I had a goal of being published. It took hard work, dedication and support from some of the closest people in my life and it finally happened. I remember how I felt when I got to see my name in print. I loved being at a bookstore signing out copies of my own writings for children and teachers. I felt elated that my goal was now a reality. As you begin to think of your next big goal being met-don't forget the ones that you already have been able to fulfill. What was hard for you last year? What made you work extra hard? Did you get to see it through to completion? Before starting your new goal list...write down the things that you already made happen. Mindfulness builds awareness of our strengths and gratitude to those who helped out along the way. You can do it. Next year is next week but you don't have to wait to embrace all that you can do right now. -Read something great

A Summer to remember!

Are you wondering where I've been?
I know that it has been a while since I have blogged but I have great things to report! Our newest book launch just happened over the weekend;
We just distributed our newest partner their books for "Be A Part of Their Story" and we are making amazing strides when it comes to anti-bullying! I have included tons of pictures for you to take a look at!
What are you doing this summer? How do you plan to use your talents to inspire, transform and connect your community? How can we help? Have a great day and as always read something great!

With a couple of words...

Hi Readers,
Have you ever thought about the power of language? When we decide to greet someone and ask them about their day-we can make them feel special and cared for. When we say mean, careless comments we can make them feel as if they don't matter. When I was young someone told me that words do not have the power to hurt-they are just words. I don't agree.
When the civil rights workers fought for freedom and had racial slurs painted on their homes-those words hurt. When it is some one's birthday and they get a card that tells them they are great-those words help. My goal is to help spread the word (no pun intended) about self-esteem, diversity and literacy. I do this through my books, events and projects. So before you speak-try this exercise first. Ask yourself is this helpful or hurtful? If it could go either way refrain from saying it. Let's build up this world with our words.
-Read something great.

In an effort to end bullying...

If you are free this Friday-I'd like to welcome you to join us at our Professionals Against Bullying Roundtable hosted by the Friendship Circle. We will have a presentation, dialogue session and time to network and talk to others about this issue that effects our communities. We are meeting at 6 p.m. and it will run until 8 p.m. All ages are welcome to join us.
If you can't make this please try and come to Much Ado About Bullying: Signs, Symptoms and Solutions on Sunday May 15 from 1-6 p.m. at the Holocaust Memorial Center in Farmington Hills. I will be one of the speakers and will be joined by Dr. Elizabeth Barton and Glenn Stutzky. Bullying is not just teasing and joking it is an act that is being amplified by our global media capabilities and hurting the quality of life and self-esteem of people of all ages. We have some great ideas and events on the horizon that I promise to keep you up to date on.
-Read something great!

Breaking the Pattern of Bullying

Have you ever wondered what creates a bully? As a victim of countless bullies I sure have. Think about it for a second. Okay now that you have pondered the cause-what did you come up with? I have seen studies that link the act of bullying with low self-esteem, inner sadness or a difficult home life. I'm sure that many theories exist for the cause of bully-like behavior. Let's move on to solutions. How can we stop the act of bullying? Can we break the pattern?
I think it is possible. A technique that may be helpful is to confront the behavior as soon as it starts. I'm not saying that we should attack-but we should ask good questions. If we ask a child why they picked on someone instead of allowing it to be a right of passage we might make some incredible headway. Have you ever wondered what is going on in the head of someone who is intentionally cruel to others? How about we ask the child to write down exactly what they are thinking when they exhibit these behaviors. When I was a kid I was told that kids will outgrow bullying behaviors. Do you think bullying is something that is outgrown?
If you do take a look at this...
There are several different types of adult bullies, and it helps to know how they operate:

Narcissistic Bully: This type of adult bully is self-centered and does not share empathy with others. Additionally, there is little anxiety about consequences. He or she seems to feel good about him or her self, but in reality has a brittle narcissism that requires putting others down.
Impulsive Bully: Adult bullies in this category are more spontaneous and plan their bullying out less. Even if consequences are likely, this bully has a hard time restraining his or her behavior. In some cases, this type of bullying may be unintentional, resulting in periods of stress, or when the bully is actually upset or concerned about something unconnected with the victim.
Physical Bully: While adult bullying rarely turns to physical confrontation, there are, nonetheless, bullies that use physicality. In some cases, the bully may not actually physically harm the victim, but may use the threat of harm, or physical domination through looming. Additionally, a physical bully may damage or steal a victim’s property, rather than physically confronting the victim.
Verbal Bully: Words can be quite damaging. Adult bullies who use this type of tactic may start rumors about the victim, or use sarcastic or demeaning language to dominate or humiliate another person. This subtle type of bullying also has the advantage - to the bully - of being difficult to document. However, the emotional and psychological impacts of verbal bullying can be felt quite keenly and can result in reduced job performance and even depression.
Secondary Bully: This is someone who does not initiate the bullying, but joins in so that he or she does not actually become a victim down the road. Secondary bullies may feel bad about what they are doing, but are more concerned about protecting themselves.
Adult bullies were often either bullies as children, or bullied as children. Understanding this about them may be able to help you cope with the behavior. But there is little you can do about it beyond doing your best to ignore the bully, report his or her behavior to the proper authorities, and document the instances of bullying so that you can take legal action down the road if necessary. (info on adult bullying provided by www.bullyingstatistics.org)
It is important that we address this problem early so that those who are aggressors and victims can get the help they need. Do you have an opinion on the matter? Have you ever been bullied as a child or adult? I'd love to hear your comments.
-Read something great

Guest Blog about Bullying by Chelsea Rodgers

Today's blog is from our intern Chelsea Rodgers. Chelsea is a student at University of Michigan Dearborn. She is pursuing a degree in the marketing field. I hope you enjoy her post on bullying.
-Read Something great!
Going back to school can be fun and exciting for some kids, for others, it can be scary. Most children look forward to seeing old friends and making new ones, but just as so many are ready to go back to school the same amount or more are afraid of being bullied all year long. School bullying is becoming a daily event at schools. How can parents prepare their children?
In the U.S. 30% of teens are involved in bullying by being the bully or being bullied. It is something that has gotten out of hand and under the radar for too long. A lot of officials do not see bullying or do anything about it. People think being bullied is like a right-of-passage, that it makes kids stronger, it’s not. Being bullied causes kids to be scared, anxious, and insecure.
I know as a kid I was bullied, moving around a lot I had to make a lot of new friends and sometimes bullying was a ritual for the new kid to go through. I was teased about my hair or my braces or being small. Looking back on it being bullied is probably the reason I was shy as a kid. For me the bullying stopped by the time I reached middle school. The only reason the bullying started to subside was because of me.
It’s scary to be bullied and the rule parents tell their kids is to ignore it and it will eventually go away. That does not always work. Parents should give their kids more than just one way to face being bullied. Parents should help their kids practice confidence. Help them to feel good about themselves. Every time they say something negative make them tell you three positive characteristics about themselves.
Let them talk about bullying. There is a new book out, Summer Camp Survival that deals with bullying and self-esteem. Summer Camp Survival is a fun, quick read for teens to learn about gaining self-esteem because in the end everyone is in control of their life.