I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
Bill CosbyUS comedian & television actor (1937 - )

The quote above is from Bill Cosby. I chose to open this post with the topic of people pleasing because this is probably one of the biggest ways to deter a healthy self-esteem. When I was in grades K-12 I felt a strong desire to please my friends. My clothes, hair styles, etc. had to be approved by the crowd I was linked to.
I recall being in the third grade and wanting to be popular so badly that I paid a girl in cookies to be my friend at recess (I know a bit extreme).
As I got older I no longer used cookies to gain friendships but I became less of "Who I am" so that others accepted me more. Becoming less of "Who you are" can mean that you don't tell the truth when something bothers you because you are scared that it will risk your friendship. I can honestly tell you that it is impossible to lose a friend that you never had. True friends want to see you grow and prosper. If you have a friend that is only happy when you make poor choices it's time to rethink this relationship. In my book "Who I am not what I am" Janelle finds out that she does not have much in common with the kids in her class and they question her about her race and ethnicity. Her parents reinforce the things that make her special and she gets satisfaction from these valuable traits that make her unique. Today it might be a good idea to take a look at yourself in the mirror and remind yourself that you are unique and special and if that is not pleasing to others...that's okay. At the end of the day make sure that you are pleased with your own reflection...I have a feeling this will bring you closer to the key to success!
Read something great! Write something pleasing to you!

WHAT DOES YOUR VISION BOARD LOOK LIKE?

Many people say it's a good idea to have a vision board for your life. When I was in college I started one but I called it my dream/prayer/goal journal! I loved taking pictures and writing and realized that if it was about my vision it needed to reflect my personality! A good friend of mine (who later became my room mate) gave me the photo book. I took pic's of the things that I wanted in my future. I took a picture of my campus and wrote that I wanted to graduate with a degree in Journalism and Public Relations. I snapped a photo of a car and a license and wrote that I wanted a car & license (I know I got my license when I was in college-so I'm a late bloomer). I wrote that I wanted a great boyfriend that I would one day marry and I put a greeting card of a couple in my book.

I put many more dreams/prayers/goals in my photo journal but I realize that you get the message. I planned it out. If you want something...it helps to make it reality by seeing it! Do you want to be a writer snap a photo or tear out a magazine article that you love...or design a board that fits your personality.
It is written that faith is being certain of what you hope for and do not see...If you don't see it in your own life yet...you can still be certain that your dream can happen to you.

Many people have achieved great things-why not you? Do you want to be a leader for diversity? Let a kid that is not well-liked sit next to you...Would you like to make the basketball team? Practice everyday... and make sure you try out!
Read something great-write something better and keep your vision top of mind!
-Tara :)

EVENTS TO COME...........

January 10th- I will be at the Novi Public Library teaching a Creative Writing Workshop
10 a.m. until 12 p.m. Cost: $15/person. Feel free to bring your journal for open critique (optional) This a fantastic way to improve your creative writing skills, meet with like-minded people, and gain great resources for getting published and breaking through writer's block!

Jan 17th-Calling all young people! This is a great forum for writers under 18. This is nothing like school! Meet me at the Novi Public Library from 10 a.m. until 12 p.m. Learn the best way to build great stories, poems and/or books. After this event participants will be able to share their work at an open mic at Solid Grounds Coffee House/Downtown Northville!

Jan. 20th is the deadline for the story contest! Be sure to mail in your entries!

Stay tuned on this website for more activities!!
If you would like to invite me to your school, church, etc. please email me at whoiamnotwhatiam@yahoo.com and I can quote you rates for your next event!

Feeling beautiful when my face says otherwise

“Beauty is internal” my voice sang out to the eager children on the playground.

I am the author that chants as if it is a mantra that true beauty matters…anything else is not as important. How often do I tell kids that true treasure is paramount and the outer is just extra. Do I feel that way now that my face has been plagued with an allergy that I can’t explain. The pretty smile that others compliment and I take for granted is missing because I am not smiling and when I do… is it really as pretty as it is when my lips are not swollen. My soul is so important! My internal being is the best part of me! My favorite feature in a person is their heart…the lessons keep presenting themselves because I have to practice what I preach more than just preach because it’s my practice. It is very easy to feel confident when I feel beautiful because my skin is clear or my smile is bright. I need to be confident in myself even when fate has thrown me a day to truly focus on my internal makeup.
Readers, today is a tough one for me. I have had an allergic reaction to something and I am taking medication to clear it up. The best medicine for me out of this experience is that I am able to really understand and identify with the desire to feel beautiful on the outside. I believe each day is given as a gift to discover something new and to grow. “Who I am not what I am” is not only my book it is a mindset that we as people (regardless of age) must truly embrace the meaning of self-esteem. This means that when we don’t have the best outfit on…we are great! When we get a bad grade…we are great! When we are the only one with freckles…we are great! Our greatness does not depend on our outer circumstances …it thrives on in spite of them!

You are what you read!

The new year brings on challenges for many people. I challenge you ______ (your name here!)

To read something of substance everyday this year. It can be a picture book, an Internet anecdote or a chapter of your favorite novel. Whatever you read make sure that it makes you a better person than before you opened it! This is your year and what you read can make it better.

Read something great because that's who you are!

A RESOLUTION TO WRITE

Many people are writing lists for the new year! What is your goal? If any of your goals have to do with writing or being published...this post is just for you. Many people have a great knack for writing but that's only half of the package. The other half is discipline. This trait will ensure that you build your skill by using your journal daily, reading others works, revising your own and taking classes/courses that feed your dream. Writing is a wonderful gift! The gift continues to give to others when steps are put into place to take your writing to the next level.
Make sure this year your resolution is more than a goal but an action!
Read something good....and write something better!

TIME WITH FRIENDS IS TIME WELL SPENT...

My best memories include those with people that I care about. Have you ever noticed that many of the award winning books, movies and plays are about friendship? I don't think that it is a coincidence. People truly enjoy stories that focus on relationships. If you are interested in new journal ideas. Write stories and poems about friendship. If you write an entry a day about someone that you care about you will accomplish two things. You can become a stronger writer because you will be focusing on one subject for an entire week and you will have great dialogue to share with those who are special to you. A great exercise is to write the same story/poem each day and revise it a bit everyday. This will most likely result in a great entry by the end of the week and you will have a great addition to your body of work.

Speaking of great bodies of work...you still have time to sign up for my Creative Writing Workshop on January 10th. The cost is $15/person and you can pay for it before you leave the site via paypal. These workshops are wonderful for building your journals, portfolios, and possibly your manuscripts!
Read something good and write something inspiring!